in the wind and waves

Life, right now, is a storm.

It's crashing waves

it's a cold and biting wind

whipping my hair around my face

stinging my eyes,

it's visibility of about one quarter inch.



It's a lot.

It's not just one thing,

and it's not just my story.

It's just overwhelming.



It's been tears before breakfast,

it's been looking around myself and thinking

what am I supposed to be doing right now?

It's reaching down into the deepest parts of my faith

it's reaching up into the deepest parts of Him.

It's reaching out to let my people know what's going on with me

it's taking a deep breath as they pray over me.

It's this song:


I'll be honest, the synth in this song won me over first. 
Did you know the whole new album can be found on YouTube here?


It's worship music on repeat,

repeat,

repeat.

It's breathing in trust.

It's breathing out peace.

It's taking today one moment at a time

and doing the best I can

even if it's not checking off every item on the to do list.

It's Jesus, the one you love is heart-sick. 

And knowing that He weeps with those who weep.



I don't have the security of any one certain outcome

I do know I can be certain that my God my Father will never let me go

I don't have a timeline for things getting any better.

I do have security in God's love for me

and I have a hope that for all of this...

something good is coming.



So I can take one brave step at a time,

I can choose love when I want to choose to act in ager

or fear.


I can seek the face of my Daddy God

where I see Him smiling

proud of me

even if my attempts often fail

and choose love.


Love.

Always love.